Friday, May 13, 2011
A thousand thoughts running through my head… am I wrong to get jealous over my friends ? or maybe im just not prepared to lead . I’m really tired of being in the back stage and not doing anything . its not that I want the limelight … how will you feel seeing your friends all leading and you just standing on the floor ? god , I don’t wanna feel like this . I don’t like it . I know that no mattr what , everything is for you . but it just keeps pulling me down . everytime I try , I’ll just fall . when will I succeed ?
See daphne . I was from her band . yeah , she was once better than me then we took turns to lead and stuff . now , she’s a co worship leader while im just a vocalist . I just wanna unlease the potential . is it wrong ? or should I just hide inside my own shell and never come out again ? im not here to complain . im just hoping someone somewhere could tell me what to do and how to do .
I don’t wanna serve God with this kind of attitude . I wanna serve God with a cheerful heart .
Maybe I should just not care and numb myself . afterall , im doing everything for god . he understands me can already .
