It's the love

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I feel like a twotimer!omg!!! wat should i do?i told him that i will forget him but its hard!not as easy as i thought it would be. How fast does he wants me to forget him?and now exams r coming and he tells me this news about stop being friends. so does he wants to avoid me again? and he said that i will not talk to u until october!!!!he said that he has decided to give me up to him and he is not gonna fight for it. he said that since its only p6, this kinda crush is shit. after a while, i will forget about him and just ontinue liking him. y is idiot saying this to me? dosent he noes that i am feeling very hurt and sad now? wanting to cry out?telling him that i have a crush on him? y is luv so complicated?y cant everyone just like everyone, or y cant i have no feelings? dose he noes that he was the first guy who made me teared over him? dosent he noes anything?
'I like u since march" that was what he said, but so wat now?just forget him as wat he told me 2 ? or is this some kinda early birthday present? he thinks that it is easy to forget him, but he is wrong!totally wrong!!!!!!!!! how can i just forget about him so easily when i seee him every week day? wat do i say to him? or i don even noe how to face him. should i smile or wat?
Y am i getting onto this kind of luv things? this is the first year i have this kind of feelings over guys and this feeling suckz!totally! i really want time to go back where it started off. when i sat with him, i should not have got his number. now , getting idiot and me hurt at the same time.
I really donno wat to do. can god help me?
today, i watched the passion of christ again. i felt the love of god again. the wonders of his work.
i luv u all

Labels: can i?, forget about him

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I am very tired! both in my emotions and my body. I really wanna just drop dead! y do all the bad ppl gets the good things that i don have? I do not understand why! y does she have all the 'love' from andrea when i get nothing? why does she still have a bigger portion of andrea's heart compared to me? does she noe that the hurt she had made in my heart can never ever be healed?and even if my heart is healed, there will be a scar to remind me of it! why cant she just have the pain i felt?y is she enjoying all the goodness?why does andrea lke her so much? why do i need to put up a show infront of her?why must i????why is the world so unfair? why dosent anyone understand how i feel?i am really on the verge of tears now. I want to get my revenge on her but jesus said that if ur enermy slaps u on ur left cheek, do not slap back but give them ur right cheek to slap. Let them slap u for 77 times.I want to be like jesus but its really hard! i really donno how long can i ever hang on ...i really feel like dying now but i noe that i cant cause i still have friends to help me and i still have the jesus to help me. He will be my power of strength and through him, all thimgs are possible.

I really hope that andrea reads this post because all i want to tell her is that i will only treat tiffany as a friend because the wound in my heart can never be healed. so many ppl tinks that i am a very strong girl but tats not true. i am very afraid of losing friends because i have a very frightful experience before tats y i treasure friends. i am afraid that i will lose andrea to tiffany. i am afraid that history would repeat itself on me again. but, although i want tiffany to feel the feelings that i felt tat time, i cannot because jesus told me not to. i really don feel like going to school anymore...god, i prayin jesus name that this problem will be solved in ur hands because through u , all things are possible.

Labels: tired

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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Haiz...now i always sleep in class cause yoke lesson too sian liao.something good happened to me cause now, me and andrea so called reallly 'he hao" liao. since tat big qurrel we had on p4 which was like wow so long ago right? iu didnt realise that there was a gap between us until that day, when we went swimming, i realised tat T was a very vain person. she is even more vain then HX. i was shock as i realised tat she was the the main problem andrea and i had . to me, i realised that she did not treat me like a friend but more like a spare tire. when she has n one to play with, she will call on me to ask me to play with her
just wat is the problem with her? i think tat she only wants 1 friend and the friend is andrea. i am not fighting with her or wat but cant everyone just be friends?why is the world so complicated? nothing ever goes well with me? wat should i do with her?
nvm about tat. now i have another problem. i really now donno who i like .Love is so complicated! i like both of them i tink but one is now not in the same class while the other dont talk to me in class! i don want it to be like tat! i just wanna like one of them! not 2! i really donno wat should i do...my b day is coming liao...hope tat they will remember lor...
just talked to joanne about the 2 ppl but until now, i still donno who i like. the lking is gradually and not straight away! joanne, pls even if u noe who is it, don say it out! pls!'
luv u all

Labels: sian

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